Today is January 4, 2020, and you might notice I am only now addressing this new year and new decade. Honestly, it isn’t born of laziness or lack of want, we’ve had a less than perfect holiday season. I will spare you all the details as it is not something I am willing to discuss publicly, only to say we had a death in the family.
Moving on… Today I spoke with my oldest daughter about New Year’s Resolutions and personality types. I doubt anyone will be surprised to know I fit the “Rebel” personality type. Outside of all my wonderfully adorable inadequacies, the foundation of this definition is based on how I feel about resolutions, as in I don’t believe in setting myself up for failure. I prefer mantras to remind me about my goals. Since this method worked during 2019, I think I will continue along this path until it proves as a failure.
I’ve read several self-help books. Brene Brown is one of my favorite gurus. She speaks from earned experience. Mark Manson is another author I read regularly. His approach involves comedy. I am making my way through Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. Soon I will get my hands on While We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker, Ph.D. I suffer from chronic insomnia and I’m hoping this book contains a magical cure. Every time I pulled a book up on Audible it spoke to me, giving me advice on a current problem in my life.
Now, I will let you in on my not-at-all unique life strategies.
#1. Most importantly – Do unto others as you would have done unto you. This is a fairly universal belief regardless of choice of religion or lack thereof. And, simplistic in its nature, anyone can understand the Golden Rule. If you want to be respected show respect. Want civility, be civil. Want kindness, be kind. Want honestly, speak truthfully and reserve your judgment.
#2. My favorite – Perfection is rare so concentrate on being better than you were yesterday. If that means you are suffering from depression and haven’t gotten out of your pajamas in days, change into day clothes, even if that is a t-shirt and sweats. Strive for a shower the next day. Make your bed the next. If you falter, try again, because you will falter and that is okay.
#3. Great advice – Do the right thing, especially when no one is watching. The example I use with my daughters is, return your grocery cart to the basket lane. If you decide you don’t want an item already in your cart, put it back where you found it. Of course, this mantra is to be applied to much more difficult tasks. Tell the truth even when it’s easier to lie. I suppose, just hold yourself to a high standard. Exceed expectations. It is important to remember, outside of black and white issues, what is right for you in one situation may not be right for others.
#4. Self-awareness – Be wary of judgment. The judgment of others and the judgment of yourself. We all fall victim to gossip. Everyone has moments of self-doubt. Recognize negative thoughts and work to reverse them. Just because everyone “does it” doesn’t make it okay. If we all make an effort to speak kindly the world can become an easier place to live. Be nice to others and be nice to yourself.
While I reread this article, I realized it sounds as if I am preaching and I don’t mean to. However, if something mentioned helps another individual then that is a good thing.
According to The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles.. my refusal to set resolutions, to claim they set me up for failure, and some other crap, I am a Rebel. This is okay. The strides I’ve made in the last year are numerous. The last two weeks tested everything I’ve worked to accomplish and for today, I’m still fighting to be better tomorrow.